Are You a hoser?

You know you’re a Brewhouse Hoser when….

  1. IF YOU REFER TO THE FIFTH GRADE AS “YOUR SENIOR YEAR”
  2. YOU WONDER HOW SERVICE STATIONS KEEP THEIR RESTROOMS SO CLEAN
  3. THE GAS PEDAL ON YOUR CAR IS SHAPED LIKE A BAR STOOL
  4. YOUR TOILET PAPER HAS PAGE NUMBERS ON IT
  5. YOU THINK THAT DOM PERIGNON IS A MAFIA LEADER
  6. JACK DANIELS MAKES YOUR LIST OF “MOST ADMIRED PEOPLE”
  7. YOU THINK THAT THE WINTER OLYMPICS SPORT OF CURLING IS PART OF THE “BIG HAIR” COMPETITION
  8. YOU’VE BEEN ON TV MORE THAN 5-TIMES DESCRIBING THE SOUND OF A TORNADO
  9. YOUR FATHER EXECUTES THE “PULL MY FINGER” TRICK DURING CHRISTMAS DINNER
  10. YOU THINK THE OJ TRAIL WAS A SUNKIST AND MINUTE MAID TASTE TEST
  11. YOU THINK FAST FOOD IS HITTING A DEER AT 110KM
  12. THE BLUE BOOK VALUE OF YOUR TRUCK GOES UP AND DOWN DEPENDING ON HOW MUCH GAS IT HAS IN IT
  13. FIFTH GRADE WAS THE BEST SIX YEARS OF YOUR LIFE
  14. A SEVEN COURSE MEAL IS A BUCKET OF FRIED CHICKEN AND A SIX PACK
  15. YOUR RICHEST RELATIVE BUYS A NEW HOUSE AND YOU HAVE TO HELP TAKE OFF THE WHEELS
  16. YOU CONSIDER A SIX PACK OF BEER AND A BUG ZAPPER QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT
  17. DIRECTIONS TO YOUR HOUSE INCLUDE “TURN OFF THE PAVED ROAD”
  18. YOUR FAMILY TREE DOES NOT FORK – AT ALL
  19. THE NEIGHBORS STARTED A PETITION OVER YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
  20. YOUR CAR BURNS MORE OIL THAN IT DOES GAS
  21. YOUR CLASS REUNION WAS A KEG PARTY IN THE WOODS
  22. YOU HAD A TOOTHPICK IN YOUR MOUTH DURING YOUR WEDDING
  23. SOMEONE ASKS TO SEE YOUR ID AND YOU SHOW THEM YOUR BELT BUCKLE
  24. RED MAN CHEWING TOBACCO SENDS YOU A CHRISTMAS CARD
  25. YOU CALL YOUR BOSS “DUDE”
  26. YOU PREPARE FOR A BUBBLE BATH BY EATING BEANS
  27. YOU TAKE YOUR DOG FOR A WALK AND YOU BOTH USE THE SAME TREE
  28. YOUR BOAT HAS NOT LEFT THE DRIVEWAY IN 15-YEARS
  29. THE SALVATION ARMY DECLINES YOUR FURNITURE
  30. YOU OFFER TO GIVE SOMEONE THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK AND THEY DON’T WANT IT
  31. YOU HAVE A LOCAL TAXIDERMIST ON SPEED DIAL
  32. YOU COME BACK FROM THE DUMP WITH MORE THAN YOU TOOK THERE
  33. YOUR GRANDMOTHER HAS “AMMO” ON HER CHRISTMAS LIST
  34. YOU’VE BEEN INVOLVED IN A CUSTODY FIGHT OVER A HUNTING DOG
  35. YOU HAVE A RAG FOR A GAS CAP
  36. A TORNADO HITS YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD AND IT DOES $100,000 WORTH OF IMPROVEMENTS
  37. YOU MISSED YOUR 5TH GRADE GRADUATION BECAUSE YOU WERE ON JURY DUTY
  38. YOU YELL “PATIO WEATHER” WHEN THE TEMPERATURE RISES ABOVE 0
  39. YOU CARRY JUMPER CABLES IN YOUR CAR AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND KNOWS HOW TO USE THEM
  40. YOU HAVE A BUMPER STICKER THAT SAYS “IF YOU’RE CANADIAN SHOW ME YOUR BEAVER”
  41. YOU MADE YOUR HORN LOUDER WHEN YOUR BRAKES WORE OUT
  42. YOU BRING A PORTABLE TV ON A CAMPING TRIP SO THAT YOU DON’T MISS HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA
  43. YOU REMEMBER WHEN ALANIS MORRISSETTE WAS “TOO HOT TO HOLD”
  44. YOU THINK IT’S NORMAL TO HAVE A GRAIN ELEVATOR IN YOUR BACKYARD
  45. YOU WATCH MUCH MUSIC CONSTANTLY, IN THE HOPES OF OCCASIONAL FLEETING GLIMPSES OF THE TRAGICALLY HIP
  46. YOU THINK PETER MANSBRIDGE IS SEXY
  47. YOU THINK LLOYD ROBERTSON IS SEXY
  48. YOU THINK GREAT BIG SEA IS’NT ATLANTIC-CENTRIC ENOUGH
  49. YOUR BACKPACK HAS MORE THAN ONE CANADIAN FLAG IRON ON
  50. YOU HAD A CRUSH ON JOEY JEREMIAH FROM DEGRASSI JR HIGH
  51. YOU KNOW THAT A “PREMIER” IS’NT A BABY BORN A FEW MONTHS TOO EARLY
  52. YOU HAVE NAMED YOUR KIDS WAYNE AND GRETZKY
  53. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENDS IN THE EVERGREEN FOREST WHEN BERT THE RACCOON WAKES UP
  54. YOU SUBSTITUTE BEER FOR WATER WHEN COOKING
  55. YOU BRAG ABOUT THE SWEET HEB IN BC
  56. YOU DIE A LITTLE INSIDE IF YOU CAN’T GET A TIM’S DOUBLE-DOUBLE EVERY MORNING
  57. COMPLETE THE PHRASE “THE GOOD OLD _____ GAME IS THE BEST ____ YOU CAN ___”
  58. YOU HAVE AT LEAST ONE ROOTS SWEATSHIRT THAT ALAWAYS SMELLS LIKE WEED
  59. YOU’RE SUCH A HARDCORE CANADIAN PUNK YOU USED KETCHUP FLAVOURED POTATO CHIP “RESIDUE” TO DRY YOUR HAIR
  60. YOU UNDERSTAND THE PHRASE “COULD YOU PASS ME A SERVIETTE, I JUST DROPPED MY POUTINE ON THE CHESTERFIELD
  61. YOU CRIED WHEN YOU HEARD THAT “MR DRESS UP” DIED RECENTLY
  62. YOU BRAG TO AMERICANS: SHANIA TWAIN, JIM CARREY, CELINE DION WHILE MAYBE NOT CELINE DION
  63. YOU CALL IT A BUN NOT A ROLL
  64. ITS CALLED A WASHROOM NOT A RESTROOM
  65. YOU KNOW THAT A MICKEY AND A 2-4 MEAN “PARTY AT THE CAMP EH”
  66. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THE FUSS WITH CUBA, IT’S A CHEAP PLACE TO RAVEL WITH GOOD CIGARS AND NO AMERICANS
  67. PIKE IS A TYPE OF FISH, NOT PART OF A HIGHWAY
  68. YOU ARE EXCITED WHENEVER AN AMERICAN TV SHOW MENTIONS CANADA
  69. YOU DESIGN YOUR HALLOWEEN COSTUME TO FIT OVER A SNOWSUIT
  70. YOUR LOCAL NEWS PAPER COVERS THE NATIONAL NEWS ON 2 PAGES BUT IT NEEDS 6-PAGES FOR HOCKEY
  71. YOU KNOW THE 4-SEASONS WINTER, STILL WINTER, ALMOST WINTER AND CONSTRUCTION
  72. YOU PERK UP WHEN YOU HEAR THE THEME FROM HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA
  73. “EH” IS A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR VOCABULARY
  74. YOU HAVE MORE MILES ON YOUR SNOW BLOWER THAN ON YOUR CAR
  75. DRIVING IS BETTER IN THE WINTER BECAUSE POT HOLES ARE FILLED IN WITH SNOW
  76. THE MUNICIPALITY YOU LIVE BUYS A ZAMBONI BEFORE A BUS
  77. YOU ONLY KNOW THREE SPICES, SALT, PEPPER AND KETCHUP
  78. YOU HAVE 10 FAVORITE RECIPIES FOR MOOSE MEAT
  79. YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT HAS NO FRONT STEP, YET, THE DOOR IS ONE METRE ABOVE GROUND
  80. YOU OWE MORE MONEY ON YOUR SNOWMOBILE THAN ON YOUR CAR
  81. YOU FIND -40 A LITTLE CHILLY
  82. YOU CAN PLAY ROAD HOCKEY ON ICE SKATES
  83. YOU CAN DRINK LEGALLY WHILE STILL A “TEEN”
  84. YOU KNOW THAT THRILLS ARE SOMETHING TO CHEW AND “TASTE LIKE SOAP”
  85. YOU DISMISS ALL BEERS UNDER 6% AS “FOR CHILDERN AND THE ELDERLY”
  86. YOU WONDER WHY THER ISNT A 5-DOLLAR COIN YET
  87. YOU HAVE A MEMENTO OF BOB AND DOUG
  88. YOU NEVER MISS “COACHES CORNER”
  89. BACK BACON AND KRAFT DINNER ARE TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE FOOD GROUPS
  90. YOU DON’T FEEL THE URGE TO PURCHASE MAPLE SYRUP WHILE AT THE AIRPORT
  91. YOU ASSUME THE CHANNEL YOU’RE WATCHING THE SUPER BOWL ON PROBABLY IS’NT SHOWING THE REALLY GOOD COMMERCIALS
  92. YOU WON A COPY OF THE BOB AND DOUG’S RECORD ON CD, BUT, REFUSE TO ADMIT TO ANYONE THAT YOU’VE EVER SAID “EH” IN YOUR LIFE
  93. YOU FLY INTO A RAGE IN AN LA 7-ELEVEN STORE BECAUSE THEY DON’T SELL CRISPY CRUNCH
  94. YOU KNOW THE DIFFERNCE BETWEEN THE NORTHERN LIGHTS AND THE NORTHERN LITE
  95. YOU APOLOGIZE FOR NOT BEING READY TO ORDER AT THE WAITER’S CONVENIENCE
  96. YOU TRAVEL ACROSS THE BORDER TO BUY CIGARETTES AND RETURN HOME FOR SUBSIDIZED CANCER THERAPY
  97. YOU SAY “NO THANKS” TO A TELEMARKETING ADS
  98. YOU NEVER SIT IN SOMEONE ELSES SEAT, EVEN IF THE TICKET HOLDER DOESN’T SHOW
  99. YOU SAY HI TO ANYONE WALKING A DOG
  100. YOU CARRY TRAVELERS CHECKES IN A MONEY BELT
  101. YOU BUY A ROLEX, AND WEAR IT HIDDEN UNDER A LONG SLEEVE SHIRT BOUGHT FROM EATONS
  102. YOU THINK A WOMEN WHO IS “OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE” BOWLS ON A DIFFERENT NIGHT
  103. YOU HAVE A BUDWEISER POOL TABLE LIGHT HANGING OVER YOUR DINING ROOM TABLE
  104. YOU ASK YOUR PREACHER “HOWS IT HANGING”
  105. THE UFO HOTLINE LIMITS YOU TO ONE CALL PER DAY
  106. YOUR TIRES ARE WORTH MORE THAN YOUR TRUCK
  107. YOU TRIED TO CLAIM “LOSS OF TEETH” AS AN EXEMPTION ON YOU TAXES
  108. YOU DAD WALKS YOU TO SCHOOL BECAUSE YOURE IN THE SAME GRADE AS HIM
  109. YOU THINK SUSPENDERS ARE A TYPE OF SHIRT
  110. YOU KEEP A SPIT CUP ON THE IRONING BOARD
  111. YOU GOT TOO DRUNK TO FISH
  112. YOUR HOME HAS MORE MILES THAN YOUR CAR
  113. YOU’VE USED A WEEDEATER INDOORS
  114. YOU HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF THE FRIDGE
  115. YOU’VE FINANCED A TATTOO
  116. YOU WONT STOP AT A REST AREA IF YOU HAVE AN EMPTY BEER CAN IN THE CAR
  117. YOU HAVE A VERY SPECIAL BASEBALL CAP, JUST FOR FORMAL OCCASSIONS
  118. YOU HAVE BEEN FIRED FROM A CONTRUCTION JOB BECAUSE OF YOUR APPEARANCE
  119. SOMEONE IN YOUR FAMILY SAYS “COME HERE AND LOOK AT THIS BEFORE I FLUSHER HER DOWN”
  120. YOUR IDEA OF TALKING DURING SEXY IS “HURRY THERE AINT NO CARS COMING”
  121. YOUR MOM GIVES YOU TIPS ON HOW TO SNEAK BOOZE INTO THE OILER GAME
  122. ON YOUR JOB APPLICATION UNDER “SEX” YOU PUT “AS OFTEN AS POSSILBE
  123. YOU BRING YOUR DOG TO WORK WITH YOU
  124. YOU HAVE A HOOK IN YOUR SHOWER TO HANG YOUR HAT ON
  125. YOU CONSIDER ORANGE PEELS LEFT ON THE COFFEE TABLE AS PATPOURRI
  126. YOU CANTS TAKE A BATH BECAUSE BEER IS ICED DOWN IN YOUR TUB
  127. YOU THROW A BEER CAN OUT THE TRUCK WINDOW AND YOUR WIFE SHOOTS IT
  128. YOU WERE SHOOTING POOL WHEN YOUR KIDS WERE BORN
  129. THERE ARE MORE THAN FIVE MCDONALDS BAGS IN YOUR CAR
  130. THE HOME SHOPPING OPERATOR RECOGNIZES YOUR VOICE
  131. THE TAILGATE COVER OF YOUR CAR ARE MADE OF RED TAPE
  132. YOUR CB ANTENNA IS A DANGER TO LOW FLYING PLANES
  133. YOU PREFER CAR KEYS TO Q-TIPS
  134. YOU THINK A TURTLENECK IS A KEY INGREDIENT FOR SOUP
  135. YOU THINK TACO BELL IS A MEXICAN PHONE COMPANY
  136. YOU GOT STOPPED BY THE RCMP, HE ASKED IF YOU HAD AN id AND YOU SAID “ABOUT WHAT”
  137. YOU CAN BURP AND SAY THE abc’S AT THE SAME TIME
  138. YOU THINK SAFE SEX IS A PADDED HEADBOARD
  139. YOU HAVE SPRAY PAINTED YOUR GIRLFRIENDS NAME ON AN OVERPASS

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